Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
