PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
