dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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