i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
How naked do you want me to be?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
