maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
