She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
