would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Randomize