Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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