that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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