I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
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