needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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