Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Randomize
