I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
