Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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