I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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