I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
You smell like stripper and shame
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
