But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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