yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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