She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize