He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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