she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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