i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize