sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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