Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize
