Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
