My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
