you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize