You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
