Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I wanna passion pit in your ass
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
