Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
