Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
We got so high we made milksteak
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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