There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize