Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I have fence marks all over my body
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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