Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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