four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Randomize
