He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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