I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
