Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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