Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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