stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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