Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
