will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Randomize
