I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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