Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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