He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
