why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
