can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
