I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
