At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
