ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
