Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
