ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Is it penis luge time yet?
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
