It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
