things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
