he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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