when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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